More quotes by Steven Wright

"I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote"so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote."
"I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography."
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."