Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the w... - Steven Wright
"Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for."
"Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for."
"I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things."
"Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film."
"I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it."
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."