More quotes by Steven Wright

"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."
"It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself."
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."