More quotes by George Carlin

"I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up."
"Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."
"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate."