More quotes by George Carlin

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?"
"The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."
"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."