More quotes by George Carlin

"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."
"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck"
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
"If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."