More quotes by Woody Allen

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
"If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."
"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."
"Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine."
"All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it."