More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Some people grow vegetables by day, but I grow shadows by night. Right now my only customer is the US government, but the profit is unbelievable."
"I just bought some cargo pants, so I can deliver goods at the speed of a walk. It’s an environmentally friendly #startup."
"The thirstiest bird is surely the swallow. My love is so fluid I’ll bet drinking it would give you the gift of flight."
"As the ice melted, we fell in love—slowly. I just wish the ice were in two glasses of vodka, and not surrounding our bodies."
"I make friends as easily as water freezes in an active volcano. Remember: handshakes feel more natural if you leave your rubber gloves at home. Unless you enjoy networking in public restrooms."