More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"You don’t need to have a fight before great sex. I can keep my cool and still bring the heat every time."
"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."
"Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff."
"It was a cold night, so I got a fire going. I lit a scented candle."
"Both of the items were used in an attempted murder, but hers was a dagger, and mine was a baby’s rubber bottle nipple. That was the last time I took a stab at love."