More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My words and my ideas are my property, and I’ll keep and protect them as surely as I do my stable of unicorns."
"I have two ears, so why can’t I listen to two things at once? A politician only has one mouth, yet doublespeaks all the time."
"Love isn’t in a hurry like a flurry of flowery words on paper. It’s lush and slow to grow its aroma in the garden of time."
"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."
"When I dance, I’m so fluid you could drink my moves. And if you sip it with your morning coffee, you’ll be light on your feet all day."