More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."
"When she’s cuddled close, I feel there’s nothing I can’t do, and I can’t do nothing about it, because my heart is her heart for as long as she wants it."
"Personal branding is important to me as a person. It’s also important to me as a non-person. I am a rock."
"I have a lot of love to give, because free samples are the best way to encourage sales."
"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."