The last 33 years of my life have been a blur, like a hummin... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."

"How do new watches catch up with old watches that have had more time to get a head start? This is what I pondered while I waited on her to fall in love with me."

"I slept through the award presentation for Napper of the Year. They had to wake me when I won. Winning was like a dream come true."

"I keep my motivational book collection in the fridge. Hey, Who Moved My Cheese?! Did somebody let grandpa out of his cage again?"

"Instead of a vow of silence, I took a vow of invisibility. At that time you were looking for someone to love, and that’s why you couldn’t see me."