More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Why aren’t red traffic lights heart-shaped? Probably because it’s not like rush hour can get any more romantic."
"I love coffee cake, but I would prefer if it were just a little more drinkable. I almost choked while chugging some this morning, and if it weren’t for the fluid nature of clownfish, I might have caught feelings for Hillary using a basketball net."
"Love now, not later. Also, love later."
"I arose like a rose, and this is how I knew I was in love. In the garden of life, I’m better off in your neighbor’s yard."
"Before the NSA there was the Catholic Church. What is confessional if not a place to gather secrets? No wonder the church had all the power."