"Stairs, are they going up or are they going down? They’re so confusing! If love were a physical thing, it would be stairs."
"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."
"A coffin would make a great suitcase. If I folded it neatly, I’ll bet I could pack in all my love for you."
"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."
"You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen."
"To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life."