"Tennis is the only sport with love in the score, and that makes it the most romantic. I would be a player, but I wisely use the net to go fishing instead."
"I make love like my afternoon shadow is long. I'll bring the foreplay, if you bring the guacamole. (Yes, I know there is a 99-cent upcharge.)"
"My words and my ideas are my property, and I’ll keep and protect them as surely as I do my stable of unicorns."
"I fall in love with you four times a year: winter, spring, summer, and fall. The leaves may change, but how I feel about you does not."
"I just bought a bag of poetry, but it was mostly air. The author must have learned from the potato chip industry."
"Working in the hotel business I have learned a lot about people. It’s amazing what you can discover about someone by watching them when they don’t know you are watching, especially if they are asleep."