"Tennis is the only sport with love in the score, and that makes it the most romantic. I would be a player, but I wisely use the net to go fishing instead."
"She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway."
"She plants love, and she grows roses. The fragrance of romance comes from the blossom that blooms in the heart."
"I just bought a bag of potato-chip-flavored air. I also bought a bed, but sleep wasn’t included. Thank God a cup of coffee is full of wakefulness."
"I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills."
"My past is black and my future is blank. My only canvas is the present. The best color to paint with is love."