"Tennis is the only sport with love in the score, and that makes it the most romantic. I would be a player, but I wisely use the net to go fishing instead."
"I have two hands, so when I’m networking and I meet two new people, is it OK to shake both their hands at once? Or would it be more appropriate to organize a group hug?"
"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."
"During my darkest hour, life threw me some curves. Thankfully they were in the shape of a woman’s body."
"The word very will vary in muchiness. I love you very much, and that won’t vary from day to day."
"I sell soap. Buy two bars and get a FREE shower. (Water not included.) Act within the next 15 minutes and I’ll even throw in the towel. I quit!"