"The Book of Life, I’m still writing it—both literally and literarily. So far I’ve written the Table of Contents. Right now it’s more of a coffee table."
"If you’re going to hang around and watch me write, you might as well have a noose around your neck. Would you mind if I kicked the chair out from under your feet? You’re standing on my only place to sit."
"I got arrested for driving naked. I guess I shouldn’t have put four wheels, an engine, and a steering wheel on my bathtub. I’m a do-it-yourself kind of lover."
"Be memorable. Say something unforgettable. Be silent."
"The darkness has ink eyes, and if you stare long enough, you’re going to see it blink black. That’s the moment to start writing."
"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."