"The first door in the hall leads to youth, the second door leads to middle age, and the third door leads to the bathroom. But knock first, because I think grandpa’s in there."
"The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her like a thousand drops of blood dripping down a dagger."
"There’s truth in only having a bicycle seat. I used to skip class and just hold it out in the hallway. When teachers would ask me what I was doing, I’d hold it up and say, “Sorry I’m late."
"Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don’t. It’ll be a holiday that honors freedom."
"A farm is a business, and I ran mine into the ground. The next year it grew back."
"I go to sleep in my business suit, because it makes my dreams of success seem more real."