The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernis... - Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

"Unrequited love is the only possible way to give yourself to another without being held in indentured servitude."

"The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners."

"I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed."

"Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?"

"I wanted to have premarital sex with a midget, but I was afraid the ringmaster would banish me for unlawful carnival knowledge."