"Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates."
"Love leads people to become lost in their own feelings and ignore the world, so it’s no surprise their love for the world goes unrequited."
"The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes."
"People who practice freedom of expression are terrorizing our grammatical way of life."
"If I weren’t too proud, I’d boast of my exaggerated opinion of myself."
"I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy."