More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’m 33, and an 18-year-old girl called me old. I said, “You may be temporarily young, but you’ll forever be childish.” Then I put gum in her hair."
"What can I say about love that’s never been said by me or anyone else? Well, sometimes love smells like my farts, after I eat a dozen roses."
"I lost interest in her because she said the wrong thing. She said nothing."
"I used to gorge on gorgeous women, but now I look for things that can’t be seen with the eyes, but are only detected by the heart. This is love."
"The word long is short, and so is the word short, but why is the word love as long as long? Shouldn’t it be longer?"