"The memory of her love shimmers the way white light ripples gently on the midnight river, and I am currently thirsting to swim in the current that will flow downstream into her wading and waiting arms."
"I’ll mark up my services 200%, and then offer them to you at a 50% discount—because I like you so much. That’s the Mother-in-law Discount."
"I find Bukowski to be so edgy, gritty, and daring that he oozes romance, and if couples read him in bed they would appreciate what they have."
"If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?"
"She moves through my memory the way the gentle river waves turn the setting sun's rays into a nostalgic light show."
"I once tried to light a joint with a fire ant, but what did I know? I was high on glue and in the third grade, just like grandpa."