I’ll mark up my services 200%, and then offer them to you at... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I’ll mark up my services 200%, and then offer them to you at a 50% discount—because I like you so much. That’s the Mother-in-law Discount."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"My hands will get dirty holding your rose-shaped heart, because love is like gardening—it’s earthy and takes work to keep it alive."
"In high school I used to write my love notes backwards, so she'd have to flip the paper upside-down to read it. Either that or read it in a mirror, so she can see herself as I see her, and see why I admire her."
"Why sell farming equipment to farmers? I should cut out the middleman and sell tractors directly to people dining in restaurants."
"I just bought a bag of potato-chip-flavored air. I also bought a bed, but sleep wasn’t included. Thank God a cup of coffee is full of wakefulness."
"Coin a new word and hear it jingle in your pocket with all your other change. My love for you is sofacouchsitsitting, so you’d better buckle up."