More quotes by Jon Stewart

"Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake."
"Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion."
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
"Get there early because hope does not park your mother-fucking car."
"You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena."