The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine... - H.L. Mencken

"The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians."

"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it."

"Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull."

"If we assume that man actually does resemble God, then we are forced into the impossible theory that God is a coward, an idiot and a bounder."

"If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl."