"The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you."
"We fell in love like two medium pizzas in one large stomach. I wish dad would have saved a few slices for us."
"It doesn’t take a hurricane to blow out a birthday candle. Let this be a lesson in love—and cake etiquette."
"Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe."
"Me: On time. Love: Late. Death: Early. Seriously, why are you late?"
"I spray-paint my underwear gold, because it makes me feel like a winner. When two people are in love, one is always in second place."