I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And ap... - George Carlin

"It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot."

"How is it possible to have a civil war?"

"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck"

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."