More quotes by Mark Twain

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone."
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."
"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?"
"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's."
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."