The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a f... - Mark Twain

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."

"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."

"We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that the savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter."

"A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows."