The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a f... - Mark Twain

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."

"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's."

"Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms."

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."