"If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?"
"People don't care what I wear or don't wear, and even if I don't wear anything people will cover for me if they know that I care about them."
"A mini self-sacrifice is made when you force your heart to wait. I’ve got mine set on a timer, so I can do other things, like chase women."
"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."
"She moves through my memory the way the gentle river waves turn the setting sun's rays into a nostalgic light show."
"The last 33 years of my life have been a blur, like a hummingbird’s beating wings. Time flies, but not backwards, like a hummingbird can."