More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When you find yourself in hot water, what else can you do but make a spot of tea? I still have a spot of tea on my shirt from yesterday."
"If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal. I would pour you a large glass of Michael Phelps, but I don’t have that much water."
"I make naked, and I make it by hand. I also make it using the rest of my body. Coming soon to a Walmart near you."
"I can sell you wine and I can sell you flowers, but I can't sell you romance, because that comes from your heart, and it's free."
"Is it easier to get you to do what I want with a fist to your face, or a gentle pat on the back and a handshake? Let this be a lesson in power."