"Is it easier to get you to do what I want with a fist to your face, or a gentle pat on the back and a handshake? Let this be a lesson in power."
"Lying in bed listless, I wrote a list. I then had a list, but I was still listless. Perhaps because my list was of all the things I love, and every entry was you."
"She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway."
"Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me."
"Wisdom equals knowledge plus courage. You have to not only know what to do and when to do it, but you have to also be brave enough to follow through."
"The going rate for love is going away. And the more you go away, the more expensive it gets."