More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"All my failures as a human being I blame on my father. Life is about accepting responsibility, and it’s time my father started being held accountable for my deficiencies."
"Necessity may be the mother of invention, but who is the father? Don’t look at me! I wore a condom."
"I dance so fluid you’d think I’m a fish. I don’t need to drink to be able to dance—I am the drink. Have a sip and find out for yourself."
"Are all caps really necessary? No need to shout at me. My hearing is perfect when the words arrive in my mind through my eyes."
"Let’s do a 50-50 deal, with me getting 75% of the profits, and you getting the other half. That’s how we can both get the most value out of a relationship."