"There exists a big circus tent, and the right entrance is named The Republicans, and the left entrance is called The Democrats. People argue over which is the correct path, not realizing everyone inside is a clown."
"I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are outfitted with flashlights."
"The words “I love you” swim and swarm as they swirl and form fluidly, and if you are thirsty then how I feel about you is an extra large—with free refills."
"Every day I type out my dream scribbles from the night before, looking for treasure buried deep in my subconscious."
"A relationship is a sales process, and sometimes you must buy to sell, and when you sell it is to the benefit of both of you."
"Last night I didn’t sleep for a solid eight hours. No, it melted a little. Damn global warming."