Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best frien... - Bill Watterson

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

"I liked things better when I didn't understand them."

"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."

"From now on I’ll connect the dots my own way."

"You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"