Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best frien... - Bill Watterson

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."

"Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?"

"CALVIN:As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight."

"From now on I’ll connect the dots my own way."