Bill Watterson

"When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back."

"CALVIN:When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment."

"It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept."

"Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat."

"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

"Reality continues to ruin my life."

"From now on I’ll connect the dots my own way."

"CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?HOBBES:I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN:Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God."

"Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!"

"When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back."

"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."

"Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."

"When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back."

"I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts."

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

"Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!"

"I liked things better when I didn't understand them."

"You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"

"HOBBES:If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams."