Bill Watterson

"The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity."

"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."

"Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!"

"Reality continues to ruin my life."

"When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back."

"Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!"

"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."

"HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills."

"HOBBES:If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams."

"CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?HOBBES:I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN:Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God."

"To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble."

"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless."

"Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."

"I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations."

"Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?"

"You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help."

"Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend."

"That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse."

"CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?HOBBES:I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN:Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God."

"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."