Bill Watterson

"When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back."

"HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills."

"I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations."

"To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble."

"CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?HOBBES:I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN:Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God."

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

"That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse."

"Reality continues to ruin my life."

"HOBBES:If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams."

"Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!"

"Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?"

"Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!"

"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."

"I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness."

"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."

"I liked things better when I didn't understand them."

"The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity."

"CALVIN:When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment."

"You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."