Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes... - Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

"God ordered the world and all things in it, and I ordered a pizza and all things on it."

"I was seen spotted with an older woman and a girl half my height in age. A leopard was also spotted."

"You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll also be late."

"Would women find vampires even sexier and more romantic if instead of fangs they had rose thorns? It’s thoughts like these I think of when digging in my garden, looking for my one true love (If only I could remember where I buried her!)."

"Two one-armed people might seem perfect for each other, but what if they’re both missing the same arm? Then even something simple like holding hands while walking becomes a case of they’re too similar to see themselves really going anywhere as a couple."