More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I was in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky. I would have held up my index finger, but I wasn't in love that long."
"I have two hands, so when I’m networking and I meet two new people, is it OK to shake both their hands at once? Or would it be more appropriate to organize a group hug?"
"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"
"We made love like flamingoes are pink. You know what else was pink? My cheeks, because I was so embarrassed when I found out that she was the wrong woman."
"Silver is an investment. It’s like a second-place future. Makes me want to create Michael Phelps-flavored ice cream and eat a whole tub."