Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work... - Jarod Kintz, Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

"The people need to know that the people need to know. And I’m just the man to let them know that they need to know. However, what they need to know, I do not know."

"Success, if I simply gave it to you, you wouldn’t have the pleasure of taking it."

"I’m hungry to win. I should enter a hotdog eating contest."

"If I knew everything, life would be lonely, as everyone else would want to explore the world, and I’d be content with a cat on my lap sitting in the dark."

"The big uncookable sections of who we are, they’re the ones I love to taste the most."