Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work... - Jarod Kintz, Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

"The Chinese used gunpowder to make fireworks for celebrations, and the white man came along and said, Holy shit, we can use this to kill people. What better way to celebrate than that?"

"Success, if I simply gave it to you, you wouldn’t have the pleasure of taking it."

"The people need to know that the people need to know. And I’m just the man to let them know that they need to know. However, what they need to know, I do not know."

"The girl I used to love is no longer a girl, and this saddens me more than our separation. It puts my own mortality vividly on display, in contrast to my eternally youthful memories."

"Science, where would scientists be without it? They’d probably still be in my basement, where I left them a few minutes ago."