I’m hungry to win. I should enter a hotdog eating contest. - Jarod Kintz, Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

"The chimes were clinging in the wind. Or were they clanging, and clinging to hope?"

"Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it."

"I want to kidnap kids and force them to take useless tests all day long. Wait, that’s what our public education system already does."

"Science, where would scientists be without it? They’d probably still be in my basement, where I left them a few minutes ago."

"Success, if I simply gave it to you, you wouldn’t have the pleasure of taking it."