"Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass."
"You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do."
"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."
"The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat."
"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep."
"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."