Fran Lebowitz

"Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep."

"The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat."

"You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do."

"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep."

"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."

"There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death."

"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."

"Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass."