Fran Lebowitz

"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."

"Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass."

"In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra."

"Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep."

"You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do."

"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep."

"There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death."

"The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat."