Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something c... - Bill Watterson

"From now on I’ll connect the dots my own way."

"If you can't win by reason, go for volume."

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

"Reality continues to ruin my life."

"You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"