More quotes by Steven Wright

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."