I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading acc... - Steven Wright
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."
More quotes by Steven Wright
"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
"Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?"
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time"so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."