"When her boyfriend broke his leg, I knew it was my chance to ask her to dance. So I put down my baseball bat and approached her like Babe Ruth."
"A flowing flurry of flowers fell to the floor when I fell in love, as if my heart were a garden that gushed forth and flooded her being with the fragrance of romance."
"If you want to steal my heart, you must realize it's not a one-time heist. This theft will take every minute of the rest of your life."
"I would argue that unless the two people are in love, all sex is bad sex, because why eat cotton candy when you can have edible clouds? Sure, it seems sweet at the time, but that’s just a carnival and carnal rush and wears off quickly. But love adds an extra dimension that takes an earthy thing like sex and makes it absolutely heavenly."
"Most people go to networking events to gain visibility. But in a crowded room, I’m trying to figure out how to become invisible. I network like the ghost of a chameleon."
"She said she loved me, and I didn’t believe it for a minute. Maybe 59 seconds, but not a whole minute. I may be gullible, but I’m not without an accurate way to measure time."