When I dance, I’m so fluid you could drink my moves. And if... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are."

"Last year I built a Courage Machine, but I thought it might be noisy and was too afraid to turn it on. So I coated it with glue, covered it with cat hair, mounted it on my wall, and started claiming it was an exotic animal I killed on a Safari in Africa. I'd like to believe people believe me, on account of it being so strange that it has to be true."

"I miss her like 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, and 5 misses 8. When we made love, our two bodies formed one spiral that seemed to cycle to the sky."

"My acquaintances aren’t worth the aqua I drink after they leave me thirsting for something more meaningful. I don’t want refillable relationships—I want connections so deep they are black abysses."

"His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?"