More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"A little part of me dies every time I try to commit suicide. If life is a buffet, I’m still in the mac and cheese phase. Maybe one day I’ll mature into more of a meatloaf kind of guy."
"I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind words spoken about them."
"I arose like a rose, and this is how I knew I was in love. In the garden of life, I’m better off in your neighbor’s yard."
"The harmonica has musical wind, and is the breath of soul. It’s like a sad, lonely I love you lost in the breeze."
"She’s ignoring my texts. Maybe she’s dead. Oh, I certainly hope so. I’d hate to think she’s being deliberately unresponsive."