"When I go off the grid, my main source of light will be fireflies. Oh, and the glow that will come from the epic love poem I am writing for you."
"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."
"Is it easier to get you to do what I want with a fist to your face, or a gentle pat on the back and a handshake? Let this be a lesson in power."
"I want to be so successful that my secretary needs a secretary."
"Noise soup. I just made it. Taste it with your ears."
"I drink like a fish, and I swim in my thirst. I’m so parched for her love that I think I may drown in my desire."