When I hear your name, I involuntarily clench my butt cheeks... - Jarod Kintz, This Book Title is Invisible

"Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large."

"I don’t know what’s in the box, but I love it. Unopened gifts contain hope."

"When I have to be in two places at once, my mind at once decides twice which one place to be in."

"I knew it, but I knew you didn’t know I knew it, so I knew to not let you know I knew it by acting like I didn’t know it."

"My next breath may very well be in your lungs. Store it wisely, because my life depends on it."