When I hear your name, I involuntarily clench my butt cheeks... - Jarod Kintz, This Book Title is Invisible

"It’s what you do in your free time that will set you free—or enslave you."

"When I have to be in two places at once, my mind at once decides twice which one place to be in."

"When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose."

"Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large."

"I don’t know what’s in the box, but I love it. Unopened gifts contain hope."