"When I make love, I make extra, and then I keep it in my pants pockets. Well, not all of it. I give an inappropriate amount to the tax collectors."
"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."
"Why take the stairs when someone else can take them for you? Love is like a flight of stairs—somebody’s going to take them, so I may as well be unselfish and take the elevator."
"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."
"Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other."
"I am the broth of love. Make soup to me."