"Let love find you. Don’t go looking for it. The best way to attract a mate is to post an ad on Craigslist titled, “Have lube, will travel."
"I make love like the 13th floor is the 14th floor of a hotel. I give it that little extra that takes it to a whole new level."
"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"
"Two empty chairs are not a good use of space. Fill them up with love."
"The difference between a karate chop and a high five is the same as the difference between a knife and a paddle. My love can slice like a piece of pizza."
"Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise."