When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope... - Erma Bombeck

"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."

"A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween."

"It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive."

"Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy."

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."