When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope... - Erma Bombeck

"Housework can kill you if done right."

"A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween."

"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."

"When humor goes, there goes civilization."

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."